I thought this was hillarious, and had to share it.

AMAZINGLY SIMPLE HOME REMEDIES 1. If you are choking on an ice cube simply pour a cup of boiling waterdown your throat. Presto! The blockage will instantly remove itself.2. Avoid cutting yourself slicing vegetables by getting someone else tohold them while you chop.3. Avoid arguments with the Mrs. about lifting the toilet seat by using theshower.4. For high blood pressure sufferers: simply cut yourself and bleed for afew minutes, thus reducing the pressure in your veins. Remember to use atimer.5. A mouse trap, placed on top of your alarm clock, will prevent you fromrolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze button.6. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives, then you willbe afraid to cough.7. You only need two tools in life - WD-40 and Duct Tape. If it doesn'tmove and should, use the WD-40. If it shouldn't move and does, use the ducttape.8. Remember: Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.THOUGHT FOR THE DAY: SOME PEOPLE ARE LIKE SLINKY'S.NOT REALLY GOOD FOR ANYTHING BUT THEY BRING A SMILE TO YOUR FACE WHEN PUSHED DOWN THE STAIRS. HAVE A NICE DAY!!!